God is SO GOOD!

August 14, 2012 at 3:02 pm (More than Mediocre) (, , , , , )


The only words I can possibly begin this post with are, “God is sooooo GOOD!”  We returned to Houston IVF yesterday for yet another ultrasound to check on the bleed in my uterus.  If you read my last blog post, you know that I was expecting to see a major breakthrough and some healing in my body at this ultrasound.  BJ woke me at 6, and within minutes, the nausea set in.  It was as if the enemy was taunting that the day would be no different than any other.  I had also struggled with a dream all night that the bleed was again much worse.  But something was…different!  For the first time in almost three and a half weeks, I woke up HUNGRY!  I excitedly made myself breakfast, ate it, and went straight back to sleep sitting up.  I woke again about an hour later.  No sign of nausea!  It was going to be a good day!

At Houston IVF we learned that some changes had taken place in my body!  In just two short weeks, Erin and Jesse’s baby had transformed from a blinking circle on the screen, to…well, a baby!  Last week, the baby was beginning to take on some form but this week, WOW!  We saw a head and a profile, a brain, arms and legs!  The baby had the hiccups and even grabbed at its feet!  The baby was THRIVING and the doctor told us that despite my really rough week of illness and weight loss, the baby had a good week and was even growing ahead of schedule! 

But the baby was not the only thing that changed this past week!  My bleed had also undergone a big transformation!  The doctor recognized that the blood had coagulated and as he described it, “organized” which is the first step in it being reabsorbed back into my body!  It had thickened, (like gravy does when it sits) and we can fully expect it to reabsorb on its own!  I don’t know about you, but when I pray for a flow of blood to stop and God shows up and causes that flow of blood to STOP, I get EXCITED!  I think we all left the office a little giddy and a lot RELIEVED!  I was released from Houston IVF into the care of my own obstetrician and will continue on with her for the rest of my surrogate journey.   

Having grown up in the church, I’ve always known what the Bible says about life in the womb but since my own pregnancies had no complications, we never got to see our own babies develop.  Watching the hand of God perfectly craft this precious child from week to week has been the most amazing experience ever! 

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.  My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.  ~ Psalm 139: 13-16

  If you’d like to watch another step in the incredible formation of Erin and Jesse’s baby, click here to watch this week’s ultrasound

(I don’t think the video will play on phones.  I think you have to be on a computer.)

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you;” ~ Jeremiah 1:5

 My good day didn’t end in the exam room.  When we walked out of the building, I smelled food cooking at a nearby restaurant and it smelled GOOD!  For the first time in three and a half weeks, I ate breakfast, lunch, AND dinner and was not sick.  For the first time in three and a half weeks I snuggled my five year old and didn’t get nauseous from her wiggling!  For the first time in three and a half weeks I felt normal, like the old (NOT SICK 24/7) me!  And so far, today has gone well too so I’m still on this high of feeling GOOD!  Last night as I lay in bed, I literally could not stop thanking the Lord for His goodness.  For hearing my prayers and answering them.  For letting me eat and function normally!  For caring so much about Erin and Jesse!

Yes, the doctor did extend my bed rest and put me on very light activity for another week.  And I can’t get off of the progesterone hormones just yet.  But that’s okay!  I absolutely cannot complain when I’m feeling so much better.

I’ve learned a couple of practical things these past few weeks that I’d like to share with you because I truly believe that anyone can benefit from them.

 Lesson #1 Never underestimate your power as a friend or family member.  Three times this last week when I was so ill and so deeply discouraged, just being with someone truly lifted my spirits.  All three times, I felt the sickness and heaviness lift for a short while.  If you know someone going through a tough time of any sort, give them a call.  Show up with a small treat.  Let them cry on your shoulder.  Tell them something funny.  Don’t disappear from their life because you don’t know what to do or say.  Don’t be too busy for them.  People NEED people!  God uses us to minister to each other and it just takes a few minutes to make a huge difference in someone’s day.

Lesson #2 It hurts to lie around all day.  I’m serious.  It is literally painful to stay in bed all day, every day.  Muscle groups get sore after a very short while and before long, NO position is comfortable.  It can be very overwhelming.  If you know someone confined to their home or a nursing home, make a point to visit regularly.  Lying in a bed all day is no fun, no matter how old you are.  If they can get up, even for a few moments, help them!  I cannot describe how thankful I was to get to stand for even a few moments to get back and forth to the restroom my first week of bed rest.  And last week, getting to sit outside was literally the highlight of my week!

Lesson #3  Hunger can be devastating.  I’ve never been in a position in life where I haven’t been able to eat for several days in a row.  I cannot even begin to describe how it feels to desperately WANT to eat, but not be able to.  I lost 8 pounds in these couple of weeks, (which I could definitely stand to lose!) but I gained a new sense of compassion for the less fortunate.  The homeless.  Those with financial needs. Those down on their luck.  If you have the means to feed a hungry soul, (regardless of how they came to be that way) DO IT!  I guarantee you; it will bless them in such a way that they will never forget it or you!  Be a blessing!

My experience in these areas is soooo limited and could have been so much worse!  (Thank God that He never gives us more than we can handle!)  I’m thankful that the Lord wanted to “open my eyes” to these things, but boy did I want to learn those lessons as fast as humanly possible and move on to better days!  And it looks like I’m finally doing just that!  So, I’ll end this post the very same way I started it:


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