I am REAL: a reality check for today’s woman

February 16, 2016 at 9:18 pm (More than Mediocre) (, , , , , , )



I am not my breasts.  These two mounds of ever-changing body fat do not define who I am.  Their size does not increase my value.  Their aging condition does not decrease my worth.  I will not allow Hollywood or the media or anyone else to convince me that my body fat is not distributed properly.  No one has the right to tell me that I need more up top and less around the middle.  I’m thirty-seven.  My middle has five times now come just short of bursting at its seams to bring forth life.  It’s been nearly two decades since my top was first sacrificed to bring a nursing child into this world with the best possible start.  And the caboose of this train, though it still faithfully rides the rails of the treadmill, I’m afraid will never find its way back to the glory days of the twenties.  That’s just reality.  I am REAL.

With or without Photoshop, with or without plastic surgery, there will always be someone prettier.  Thinner.  Taller.  Curvier.  Younger.  More physically fit.   Though these worn out, unenhanced, forever flawed “assets” of mine immediately disqualify me as a Hollywood sex goddess, they perfectly qualify me for something much greater- reality.  Reality: The state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or might be imagined.  Much deeper than flesh and fat, far beyond makeup, hairstyles, and fashion lies reality and all that TRULY defines a woman.  And unlike the women on the magazine covers, I don’t have to sell others (or myself) on my worth.  I am a wife with a God-given purpose of being a helpmate for my man.  I cook, I clean, I wash, I dry, I fold.  I pay the bills.  I run the errands.  I do the shopping.  I taxi the children.  I care for the animals.  I do yardwork.  I grow food.  I work outside the home to make ends meet when necessary.  I’m his greatest cheerleader, his shoulder to cry on, his strongest prayer warrior, his business consultant, his very best friend.  I’m his lover and I willingly submit my body to his righteous intimate pleasure at all times (even when I truly have a headache!) If he has any need of any sort, I make it my purpose to fulfil it.  I honor him and out of love do my best not to insult or talk down to him in front of others.  I choose to adore him.  Reality.

I’m a mother with a God given purpose of training up my children in the way that they should go.  I do homework, school plays, and mid-day award ceremonies.  I make cookies for class parties and deliver forgotten lunch kits and homework assignments.  I do sports and dance practices, games, tournaments, meetings, fundraisers, recitals, doctor, dentist, and orthodontist appointments.  I comb out tangles, re-rinse missed shampoo, make last minute bows and sew on missing buttons.  I regulate sweets and soda, cologne, and spray glitters, and of course, Band-Aids.  I get up a 6 am just to make chocolate chip pancakes for that one child who won’t eat ANY other thing for breakfast.  I pour every ounce of myself leftover from my husband into my kids and then scrape the sides to give the last drop.  I’m 100% in over my head in a course learning to read, write, and speak Hebrew just to spend time with my son doing what he enjoys because he’s amazing, and I love him.  Knowing full well from past experience that the glues don’t hold much longer than a decade and that I’ll have nothing to show for the endless hours I put into the books, I scrapbook with my youngest daughter every Monday because she loves to create and she loves to see fun memories and she loves to spend time –just with mommy.  I’m learning pre-algebra again with my oldest daughter.  Sure she already took this class in school and moved on into Algebra but she’s struggling.  It takes her longer to process her thoughts than most and she falls behind.  So, we’re taking a course online with a million lessons and when we finish those million we’ll move right on to the Algebra course and do a million more until she’s confident in her abilities because she’s a champion NO MATTER WHAT THIS WORLD TELLS HER!  She CAN do this!   And even though I hated history when I was in school and I still don’t know one event or date from another, my middle daughter just likes to sit and read history books together.  So I love it now.  Because it gives me the chance to somehow connect with her in this crazy tween stage of life.  I didn’t plan 3 of 4 of my kids, but GOD DID, which automatically gives me worth in His eyes and a huge purpose in this life.  You see, he wouldn’t have created little children to watch every move I make and model their own words and actions after mine if He didn’t think I have what it takes to grow beautiful people.  Oh, it’s in there.  It’s just requires a choice.  A choice to put their needs above my own.  A choice to sacrifice my precious time to dive into the word of God with them to grow and develop their character.  A choice to teach them right from wrong (which is waaaaaayyyyy harder than it sounds!)  A choice to give up worldly forms of pleasure and entertainment in order to invest fully into their spiritual futures.  A choice to show them that a battle for their souls is raging in an unseen spiritual world around them that’s far more interesting than any app or video game any human could ever dream up.  A choice to walk into that battle hand in hand with them and teach them how to fight for their lives- because it’s just as real as they are and their enemy wants nothing more than to destroy them.  Reality.

I am a daughter of the one true king and even when I don’t feel beautiful or lovely or even worthy to walk on this planet–when I feel utterly worthless because I don’t even come close to meeting the world’s distorted standard of beauty- I’m still a princess simply because He says I am.  At my lowest point, He saw enough value in me to exchange His own perfect son’s life to pay the price for my sins.  He saw enough worth in me to turn me away from self-destruction and set me on a new path heading towards Him.  Towards freedom.  Towards peace.  Towards joy.  He still sees enough potential in me every day to gently correct me and draw me closer and closer to Him and further and further from the empty things of this world.  He moves individuals in and out of my life and trusts me to show them His love as they come and go.  He entrusts me with the hearts of my friends and family members and expects me to treat them with great care and respect.  He has plans for me and my future-big plans-simply because I love Him, obey Him, and choose to line myself up with His truths.  When He looks at me, He sees the me that I will one day become-after He’s had time to work out all the kinks.  Despite my current imperfections, (physical and spiritual) He absolutely loves me BEYOND MEASURE.  It is this love that defines me.  It is this love that leaks from my pores and defines every choice I make as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend.

Reality: The state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or might be imagined.

Reality check ladies:  Your TRUE female assets aren’t found on your body but in your identity.  That imperfect flesh of yours is merely a shell to house your spirit in while you walk this earth.  Despite all your attempts to stay young, perky, and up to the world’s standards, your body will continue to age, degrade, and disappoint.  As it does, keep in mind that it is your relationship with Father God that determines your worth.  Not movie stars, magazines, fat distribution, or others’ opinions of you.  Let cellulite, stretch marks, and sagging skin serve only as a reminder that you are perfectly qualified to be….REAL.

God sees not as man sees,

for man looks at the outward appearance,

but the Lord looks at the heart.”

1 Samuel 16:7

Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

1Peter 3:3-4

Description of a Worthy Woman

10 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. 13 She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. 14 She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. 15 She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. 18 She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. 20 She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. 26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: 29 “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. 31 Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.

Proverbs 31:10-31



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