WARNING: ‘Serious Killer’ on the Loose!

January 26, 2011 at 8:25 pm (More than Mediocre) (, , , )

 

I’ve always thought that if I could change one thing about myself, I’d loosen up a little!  You know, not stress out over every single little detail of life!   Chill out!  Relax!  Enjoy the ride!

I’m not even sure how I came to be so uptight.  I’ve just always been this way.  Rarely spontaneous.  Never silly.  And absolutely under no circumstances willing to purposely act stupid.  I’ve spent the past twenty years of life being serious with a capital S.

Which means…I’ve missed out on a whole lot of fun!

I’ve finally come to realize that the ‘s’ word has damaged more than just my social life.  My spiritual life -my walk with the Lord- has suffered over the years as well.  Oh, I’ve done a halfway decent job at the serious parts-talking to the Lord in prayer and reading His word.  (Because they can be done in private and don’t require me to leave my comfort zone.)  It’s actually the worship part that I, along with the rest of the non-smiling serious types, have a problem with.   It’s the passionate effort, the reckless abandon, the Psalm 20:5, Psalm 95:6, Psalm 138:1, Psalm 149:3, Psalm 150:4, 1 Chronicles 13:8 and all the other scriptures instructing us to worship beyond half heartedly singing along.

In 2 Samuel 6 we find David dancing unashamedly-leaping and whirling before the Lord.  While his on-looking wife, Michal, despises his dramatic expression of adoration to the Creator, David passionately proclaims,

“And I will be even more undignified than this, and will be humble in my own sight.”

I imagine that Michal must have considered herself to be a pretty serious individual.   Too self-respecting to leap or whirl.  Too dignified to dance wildly before the Lord.  And definitely too concerned about what others might think to actually abandon herself in genuine worship.  (Sounds like somebody I know all too well!)

Though Michal perceived David’s worship to be irreverent foolishness, God was PLEASED.  And He was so DIS-pleased with Michal’s disdain that He forever cursed her womb!  For, as 1 Corinthians 1:27 tells us, “God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty.”

Well, I may not be the sharpest crayon in the box, but I am bright enough to realize that I generally gravitate more towards Michal’s mindset than David’s.  And I think it’s pretty safe to say that that is NOT a good thing.  So, last year I began to ask the Lord to free me from my comfortable, predictable ways so that I can genuinely worship Him in spirit and truth according to the directives set forth in scripture.  I can’t say that it has been an easy process.  Even surrounded by the spirit-led Davidic worship offered up to the Lord at Remnant Church, I’ve had great difficulty letting go of the fear of man.

It was only when I brought worship into my home as a routine part of my day that I began to overcome my fear of looking foolish in man’s eyes.  After all, it’s much easier to put all your inhibitions aside when the lights are out and no one’s looking!  Whirling about is actually quite fun when there’s no one standing nearby to criticize.  And to my surprise, words that the mind’s not even capable of composing can be spoken through the spirit while waving a banner before the Lord.  I’ve come to find that there is no greater “high” than expressing my love for God with ALL of my strength in any manner He lays upon my heart.

While God has not yet brought this new work in me to completion, I can honestly say that I yearn to worship Him with my entire person -my body, my emotions, my mind, and my spirit- as David did.  And now that I’ve had a taste of the real thing, attempting to praise or worship the Lord without giving my absolute all just doesn’t quite cut it anymore.  It’s not enough for Him, and it’s not enough for me.  I admit that I still hold back at church, but one day I hope to bust my shackles wide open!!

Until then, I thought I’d leave you with a little warning.  Beware!  There’s a ‘Serious Killer’ on the loose!  One that can’t be restrained in chains or held by bars.  So you might as well not run.

Check out this awesome song at  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6kSRKZ60q4

 

The song of my heart:

Undignified by Darrell Evans

Teach me to have a child-like heart
Free me to be undignified
Teach me to have a child-like heart
Free me to dance all over my pride

Gonna dance like a child
Sing like the Son
Abandon myself to the Holy One

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1 Comment

  1. Kathy higgins said,

    Love it love it Julie ! When god fills you with his spirit and you feel that awesome presence you just crave it more and more. You are so beautiful inside and out love you!

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